Such was their trauma, that many adult chidren of alcoholic, troubled or dysfunctional families cannot remember up to 75% of their chidhood experiences. Healing the Child Within by Charles L. Whitfield, M.D.
Showing posts with label funerals. Show all posts
Showing posts with label funerals. Show all posts
Thursday, October 29, 2009
DYING... But, not soon
NC--my older sister by 13 months--already has her funeral planned. Morbid? I thought so, too, until our recent trip to Kaua'i when I was overcome with the knowledge that I know how I want my demise handled.
I want to be cremated and my ashes scattered on Polihale Beach in Kaua'i. If CA survives me, he can save a bit of ash to have buried in Eureka, IL with his decaying carcass. He is adamant that he will NOT be burned... And, so far I want Jack Johnson's music and Marc Cohen's music played at my funeral. Also, Dan Hill's Sometimes When We Touch--if CA survives me. That's not really a love song--if you listen closely to the words--but it is all about love and has been my favorite for decades.
That's all for now. Morbid? Sure, but reflective of my wishes.
Saturday, August 30, 2008
DEATH

I was ten years old before I saw a dead body. The summer after mom's crack-up when Aunt MK came and took care of us, NC and I went back to the Blue Ridge Mountains for the summer. MK lived in a coal mining town and it was surrounded by hollars where moonshiners reigned freely. Chickens wandered in and out of the shanty houses, and pigs lived beneath. When we drove back into a hollar to collect kids for Sunday night services at the little Bible church, the roads were so narrow that we would extend our arms and collect leaves and flowers.
Somebody died. A newborn baby. I don't remember whether girl or boy, but the mommy was very, very young and overwhelmed with grief. I had never been taken to a funeral, but MK and MD didn't think twice. The wake was in the grandmother's home and HORROR of HORRORS the infant baby was laid out on a buffet in the dining room--unembalmed! I had nightmares for weeks. I quickly exited and found much to do on the porch and in the yard.
A few days later an older man or woman died. I never left the car. It was years before I could or needed to go to a funeral or wake or visitation and I went with great trepidation. My friend's brother was killed in a bar fight and neither the body nor the family was on display. They were sequestered away while the guests listened to a minister [my mom's crush from years before] give a tribute to a young man he didn't know and an exotration to the living toward a clean and godly life.
Then a good friend's mother died and I had to go again. A sad story and a timely end. Death was easier this time. This funeral became a long running family story. Not to dishonor her life, but for some reason when my sisters and I would see each other after a time away, one or the other of us would ask, "Did you hear that Ruth Smith died?"
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