MY GUY

Gloria Steinem & Betty Frieden

Feminism defined: the belief that women matter as much as men do.

"I hate discussions of feminism that end up with who does the dishes," she said. So do I. But at the end, there are always the damned dishes.

Marilyn French, again

I've never really considered myself a feminist, but I am well aware that my life is better because of the vocal feminists of the last few decades. Feminism is not a subject that we discuss at my house. My husband does laundry, dishes, cooks, cleans, and was always an involved father. As a teacher he was home summers and holidays when I was working. He didn't start out this good, he's just a smart guy who looked around, saw things that needed doing and did them.

I knew before I married him that he loved kids. He also loves sports and teaching. He is an authority figure in the classroom, but he likes to have fun. His brand of humor borders on lame, but still he persists. He has been a very popular math teacher and coach--successful and happy in his career and life.

I have almost always worked outside the home. I'm just wired that way. I was a late bloomer--not finishing my degree until mid-life. Wish I had gotten it together way earlier. And, I should have been a teacher. The benefits are terrific--June, July, and August. Every year. Sigh... Now he has the pension and I have a very anemic 401(k).

Anyway, these comments on feminism are leading up to a celebration of today. 42 years ago today I had my first date with CA. Yep! The story continues...

THE MARRIAGE STORY

You write your own story.

This has been the first year that my husband and I have been retired together, or semi-retired as we both do contract work. You know the stereotype--husband gets in wife's hair, husband portrayed as bumbling buffoon, husband hangs around the house too much...

I almost played into that stereotype. We were together too much in late winter, early spring. We always do very well together--really enjoy the life we have made. But, I was getting impatient and a bit nasty about too much time together. I do like my empty house and time alone.

One day I remembered... I write my own story. I want to have a beautiful, functional and fun marriage. I want to have the marriage other people dream about. We have gone 39 years into this one and it has been good. I want to value, honor, respect, and delight in my husband.

A quick prayer of forgiveness and plea for patience, asking God to let me see through his eyes. Problem solved. Not a perfect marriage, but a great one!