Saying No

 

Caught part of the Diane Rehm Show on NPR as I drove home from the gym today. She was interviewing Jane Fonda, whom I've grown to respect. She is a fine actress, and has lived an interesting life.

The interview centers around a newly released book by Fonda-- "Being a Teen: Everything Teen Girls & Boys Should Know about Relationships, Sex, Love, Health, Identity & More."

This particular excerpt really caught my attention:

 

(Jane Fonda)

I want you to use protection, so forth. If you can't talk that way, then you can't, you're not ready to have sex. If you don't trust the person you're with, it's not a good relationship. There should never be pressure or abuse or force. No is a complete sentence. I mean, we've got to keep saying this to our girls and boys.

No is a complete sentence.

Really.

Profound.

I'm going to use that; remember that; apply it.

 

In Other Words

 

-source-

 

 

Or, "It's all about me."

 

The Wind is Not a River

(source)

 

The Wind is Not a River

Brian Payton

Some men have the great misfortune to stand at life's continental divide and see that the land beyond is barren. There is no hope of turning back. What does one do with this view?

It takes the rest of the day, but then the answer descends on him like a revelation. Easley's eyes open wide, he stands to greet its arrival. It is the phrase, the riddle he has been repeating like a prayer. It is, of course Tatiana.

The wind is not a river.

Her chain of islands that dares to separate the North Pacific from the Bering Sea. A chain through which the wind whips into some of the world's most fearsome storms. One minute it's a hurricane, the next a breeze. But rivers! Rivers flow throughout the seasons--under bright summer sun, plates of winter ice--morning, noon, and night. Wind rises up and fades away, but a river flows endlessly.

And our suffering? This too shall pass. The wind is not a river.

pg. 186

If John were with her now, he would hold her hand and tell her not to fill the void with fear. Be realistic, he'd say, but do not jump straight to catastrophic conclusions... There are enough hard facts to confront each day without letting our imaginations get the better of us--without letting worry drain our real lives away

pg. 264

Just posted a review of this wonderful novel on my First Paragraphs blog. Need to capture these quotes here, as they are a necessary reminder and a caution besides.

 

Faith-Grace

Recent events in my family of origin have highlighted how easily we revert to/hold onto a flawed view of God's grace and human fragility.

Unfortunately, it seems that God allows a whole lot more ambiguous and painful things to enter our lives than we were led to believe in our younger days. There was definitely a teaching that if we followed Christ perfectly we could be spared most of the nastiness of life. Turns out that bad things happen to Christ followers, too. Faith, prayer, legalism, etc. can't cure mental illness.

Funny... Legalistic Christians can accept cancer, disease, tragedy, etc. as just the experience of every life, but there's a bias that believes that mental illness hinges on a right relationship with God. Now, that's a slippery slope that we watched our mom slide down. Repeatedly.

Mental illness was the background of our family relationships. As was faith in an omnipotent God, and his call on us as Christ-followers to walk a righteous path.

The fact that my siblings have built healthy, loving families who continue to walk with the Lord is precisely attributable to prayerful grandparents, parents, and aunts and uncles. And, to God's grace and unconditional love.

 

Real Love

... Love has to be tough and uncomfortable, and it has to sting if it's going to prove to be real and last for the long haul. Love that's too timid to ache isn't love at all.

Pg. 31

The Rook

by Steven James

 

Well said. A jewel hidden in the pages of an FBI procedural novel.

 

Not the popular culture's view of love, for sure. But in the midst of months and months of walking alongside encouraging, questionning, and challenging my brother, it's the love he needs. And, it's the only love I can offer.

 

I've grieved his circumstances. I'm angry at his choices and lethargy. I've exhausted myself emotionally, but the anger has helped me to regain the healthy emotional distance I need for the long haul.

 

I can pray, but I'm done with the advice. He's extremely intelligent. He remembers much. He's heard it all. Taking action is his downfall.

 

Child Evangelism Fellowship

 

Mom's after-school Bible clubs were a huge part of my childhood. While I may have not always wanted to attend and been a bit embarrassed that the teacher was usually my mom, we had dozens if not hundreds of these lessons in our home throughout the year, and in our backyard (garden) in the summertime.

 

Flannel-graph. Quiet chair prize. Scripture memorization. Treats, sometimes.

-source-

 

Throughout mom's lifetime and despite her struggles with mental illness, she was faithful to CEF. Definitely, one of her callings.

 

The reason I'm reminiscing about this today, is that my brother PJ has been volunteering in the Peoria office two days this week. He's on medical leave and looking for worthwhile places to invest his time.

 

 

 

 

Surfing

 

 

"For if you remain silent at this time, relief and deliverance will arise

for the Jews from another place and you and your father's house will perish.

And who knows whether you have not attained royalty

for such a time as this?" (Esther 4:14)

 

 

Our family has had a summer of waves. Tsunamis. God is faithful. We're surviving. Thriving. I keep thinking, "For such a time as this."

 

We are each particularly gifted, shaped, polished, hewn for specific endeavors. It's amazing to see how each sibling, family member, steps up to the plate with just the perfect solution, action, wise words.

 

Our lives have been designed and cast for such a time as this. We only need to be willing and available. Then, let God do the directing. Our deeds and words are multiplied exponentially. It's the loaves and fishes story all over again and again.

 

It's absolutely shocking to hear what comes out of my mouth at times. Wisdom or solutions far, far beyond my grasp. Same for my sisters and other family.

 

We're each taxed far beyond anything we could ever have imagined. Yet, there's strength for each day. And, middle-of-the-night or early-morning answers to irresolvable issues and problems. Peaceful resolutions. Bounteous blessings. Disappearing mountains of concern, grief, fear.

 

We're not in the clear yet, but we will not be defeated. God shall prevail. And, our family will likewise. Amen. (Biblical for "so be it.") Selah. (Pause and think of that.)

 

Luke 6:37-42

[37] "Do not judge, and you will not be judged. Do not condemn, and you will not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven. [38] Give, and it will be given to you. A good measure, pressed down, shaken together and running over, will be poured into your lap. For with the measure you use, it will be measured to you."