Now

This is kind of a random photo, but it’s these people—our Small Group—that made it hardest to leave Illinois. We’ve been together 24 years. We’ve worshipped together, experienced so much life. They’re are church; our family. 




So much has happened since I last posted. We now live in Colorado and my father died in November 2016. I’ve experienced an enormous amount of nostalgia as we’ve proceeded through all the stages of these events and more.

Today, I’m very happy. Every day feels like a vacation day, but I still want this spot to record and analyze; ruminate even. Sure don’t want to lose what’s already recorded here. And, I’ve missed blogging. I’m very much looking forward to writing again. Instagram makes me happy and has recorded tons of life events and thoughts, but I need more.

Fat People. Everywhere

I know I'm overweight. Obviously (from firsthand observation), wearing a bikini top or any type of swimsuit is acceptable at the beach. No matter your level of obesity. Is that being secure in your body image, or just plain sloppy? It's a rhetorical question from my perspective, as I don't sunbathe. At all. My pale, white skin only burns and generally the sun gives me hives.


Yet, I'm appalled/intrigued by the number of adults who blithely parade to the pool, around the beach, with large guts and man boobs on full display. I'm trying to consider it "freeing". No need to suck in my tummy. Unfortunately, my conditioning precludes a totally relaxed posture.


What do people eat? Why do so many get so fat? I'm convinced it's a combination of over stimulation-numbing. Too much Musak. Too much film, Internet and television violence. Fear of being silent, contemplative, alone, unstimulated. We're all so over-stimulated from environmental and airwaves excesses, all-access to everything 24/7 with our electronic devices, that silence and solitude are a foreign country. A country everyone avoids--choosing to stay in the familiar, no matter how deadening.

We eat the fastest, tastiest food quickly, compulsively; without really chewing, tasting, savoring. We turn on music, television, videos, social media, Internet fog--distraction, noise.

Because our brains are filled to overflowing with the pervasive wild things of noise and violence, our sub-conscious runs for cover--seeks soothing. The momentary pleasures of taste and satiation; the diversions of the uncensored media... These wreck us. Our health and fitness deteriorates; our brains atrophy. We are all numbed-down and dumbed-down, reclusive in the midst of the maelstrom.

Living consciously, vividly, with an inquiring mind and a teachable spirit is a daily challenge. How to shut out the clatter, the excesses without resorting continually to mental and emotional withdrawal? Seeking to live a thoughtful and kind life requires tremendous energy. Strong character.

I can't think living well is even possible without the work of the Holy Spirit; the promise of God's peace that surpasses all understanding. The opportunities to be in the moment; to seek the simple choices to tune-in to and savor both beauty and quiet, as well the dynamic forces of our world and universe: the oceans, the tides, mountains and plains, the sky, day and night, twilight and daybreak, the clouds and the stars, the wind and the storms. Sunshine and cool breezes, stately trees and blooming flowers. The seasons and the passing of time.


We are uniquely human. We can reflect and regroup. Reconsider and re-invent. We can choose to live well; act humanely. We can take control of our five senses: touch, taste, smell, hearing, seeing. We have choices. We're not in this alone. We can walk closely with God, live and love as Jesus did, welcome the Holy Spirit to guide and remind, and rejoice in the realities of redemption, forgiveness, and life everlasting.

For now, the challenge is to live well and to be kind. To live life in the realities of this time and this culture, while pro-actively caring for our bodies, minds, and spirits.
Intentionality.

Grief

How are you doing grief-wise? I was just so busy for so many weeks after dad died. Mid-December I ur small group gave me an arrangement that was mainly white lilies.  I hated that arrangement. I don't like the smell of lilies (except lily of the valley) and that arrangement was a thorn in my side. I wish I'd just gotten rid of it right away. It was a reminder of loss. 

I'm still processing and not wanting to go very deep. I feel like I grieved so many things with him for so long until I really found peace. I don't want to open old wounds. 

Yet, I know that I'm grieving. It's just not front and center most of the time. 

Memories

“Memory is a notoriously biased and sentimental editor, selecting what it wants to keep and invariably making a few cosmetic changes to past events. With rose-coloured hindsight, the good times become magical; the bad times fade and eventually disappear, leaving only a seductive blur of sunlit days and the laughter of friends.”
— Peter Mayle, Encore Provence

The Gospel of St. Thomas, Saying 70

(Source: Whikipedia)

 

"If you bring forth what is within you, what you bring forth will save you. If you do not bring forth what is within you, what is within you will destroy you."

 

We Lie about Food

image

 

From the current Vanity Fair magazine Proust Questionnaire with George Takei (Star Trek alumnus):

VF: What is your idea of perfect happiness?

GT: I don't know about perfect, but a creamy scoop of green-tea ice cream comes close.

 

Really? What about Häagen Dazs Peanubutter Chocolate. Rocky Road. Ben and Jerry's Cherry Garcia.

 

Give me a break. green-tea anything tastes like pee. Even with tons of sweetner.

 

And, kale is fantastic! Really? Kale is barely digestible. Even shredded into teensy bits. Why don't we just refuse to drink anything green and puréed.

 

Wake up your taste buds! Buy beautiful produce; farm fresh, if possible. Make your own fresh soup, salads out of real ingredients in their original fresh condition. A salad should not come out of a bag. Fruit is not best pre-sliced.

 

We are such Lemmings. Chose to prepare and eat beautiful food. Eat only in restaurants that use fresh ingredients, prepared in-house.

 

Privacy

What are they doing on national television, airing their silly problems for everyone to witness? What happened to the desire for privacy, the very idea of it? Surely it is one thing to try to see ourselves as others see us and something else entirely to see ourselves only as others see us. What have we become that we achieve validation and credibility only through the eyes of others?

Someone is Watching

Pg. 92

Joy Fielding

This one stopped me in my tracks! So well-thought out; phrased. A pearl of wisdom regarding our culture of notoriety. Our insatiable need for attention; spotlight. I tweet, therefore I am. A camera follows my most mundane and trivial actions and interactions, so now I'm a celebrity. Wasn't notorious once a derogatory term?

no·to·ri·ous

nōˈtôrēəs/

adjective

1. famous or well known, typically for some bad quality or deed.

   "Los Angeles is notorious for its smog"

   synonyms:

   infamous, scandalous; More