Short of fleeing the country, pulling your phone land line, and ditching your cell for an anonymous pay-as-you-go, you can't shake family. They never go away.
Thank God for the family we've created. They're the people I choose for my desert island. We're far from perfect, but love, truth, and openness are key values. We make it all work.
The family I am born into is not without it's flaws, but for the most part we all make it work. We don't cut each other out, do the silent treatment, destroy each other on major holidays. But, as the years pile up the resultant baggage gets huge. Out-of-control. There's too many players. Too many personalities to wrangle. Too many life-altering, critical events and decisions. Too many conversations. Control issues. Viewpoints.
We're a family of words. Too many words. Good intentions backed up with too little information and empathy, and too many biases.
Good intentions run amok.
I have just enough empathy and energy these days for the family CA and I made. Anything extra is too much.
Yet, no one believes me when I say I can't do it all anymore. What will it take?
"No." should be enough. Just say, "No." And repeat until they hang up, leave, go in search of a more empathetic relative. Good-bye.