Saturday, August 23, 2008


No one would call me a people pleaser now. I used to be. It was SO very painful. I wanted everyone to like me. I heard a sermon once where the guy said something like 80% of the people out there will like you, 10% will despise you, and 10% won't care enough to have an opinion.

Also, another sermon: This one from an old-time English pastor--I think his name was Barnside. "If what they are saying about you is true, mend your ways. If it isn't, forget about it!

I think I recovered instantly after reading Charles Whitfield's book. One of the proudest times in my life was when my best friend introduced me to a new friend by saying, "She is a truth teller." I love that and I do try to "Speak the truth in love." Tell me, please, if I hurt your feelings. I can explain!

Many children growing up in troubled or dysfunctional families learn how to be either aggressive or manipulative or sit back or withdraw. They don't get what they need. They almost never see assertiveness being modeled, are rarely taught to be assertive and thus grow up to be adults who operate by being either aggressive, and/or manipulative or passive, "people pleasers,"or a combination of these.

[Assertiveness] helps us get what we want or need but without leaving us feeling upset or bad.

Healing the Child Within
Charles L. Whitfield

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